Why?
by Neko-Misora229
Summary: I've told you I love you and yet you still desire attention from everyone else. Why? T to be safe


I've told you I love you and yet you still desire attention from everyone else. Why? Is my affection for you not enough? Why do you let yourself get verbally beaten by Asuka and Misato? Why do you long for love from your father, even though you know you'll never get it? Why to you ignore the love and attention I give you? Neither Asuka and Rei could love you like I do. Neither of them would even care if you died right now. But I would. I would mourn over you. So you don't you ever come to me first? No one cares for you like I do. Why won't you see that?!

Shall I prove it to you? Show you that I'm the only one you can come to, the only one you who can love.

Shall I prove that I'm the only one you can mend that fragile heart, the one like glass that is constantly shattered in front of me?

Their screams as they died were fantastic. If only you could hear them. The shrieks and cries as I stabbed each one. Every person who's hurt you. Every single person in Nerv. The floors are like red carpets now, blood flowing and mixing everywhere. It's almost like a mini third impact. Everyone becoming one being. Everyone but you. I heard you come up behind me as I looked down at Asuka. Her death was the most fun. Her screams were delightful. Oh if only you could of heard them, those high pitched screams, just like notes on that violin of hers. Just like music. Oh so enchanting. I turn and face you, smiling. I don't bother to hide the knife from you, the one covered in crimson blood. I don't bother to wipe away any of the blood on my skin. Why would I? You wouldn't know it was _my_ act of love for you if I hid the evidence. You stumble back in shock and look down at Asuka. You're doing it again; ignoring me and running to _her_!

"Asuka! Asuka, can you hear me? Asuka, please, speak to me. Call me idiot…please just do something!" You're shaking her now. She won't wake up.

"Why do you do that?" I ask aloud. I'm confused and I can feel something else. Hurt? No, this is agony.

"Do what?" you ask, unsure if you should speak or not.

"You always hope for things to be better than they are. She's dead and yet you're still hoping that she's alive, that she'll eye open those eyes of hers and insult you. I don't understand at all. Why do you always long for everyone else's love when I've told you I love you!" you looks at me, opening and closing your mouth like a fish.

"Why did you do this. Why did you kill everyone?!" Why do you look at me like that? I step forward, you shuffle back. You're clothes are soaked with blood.

"Why? Because I love you Ikari Shinji." You're stunned into silence. "I did this for you. I didn't want you to get hurt anymore. These people didn't care for you. They were cruel to you, always mocking and insulting you. Only I love you. Only I can love you. All I want is for you to be happy." you shake your head, trying to deny everything I've just said. Do you know how much the kills me. You won't even accept my love. I never knew you could be this cold.

"Why did everyone have to die?!" Why are you angry? Why are you shouting? Why does my heart ache?

"Because I want you to feel happiness."

"So you decide to kill all my friends!""They constantly wounded you Shinji. I-" You glare at me, tears streaming down your cheeks. I kneel down and wipe them away. You flinch and shuffle back again, away from me, away form my touch. I move forward catching your wrists before you can do anything, the knife landing next to us. I will show you how much I love you, no matter what. I lean forward, pressing my lips against yours. You stiffen but can't push me away. After a few minutes you relax. I let go of you, my hands cupping your face. Have you finally excepted my love? I start to believe you have before white-hot pain shots through me. Slowly you draw out the blade, the one I used to kill everyone, the one I used to prove my love. My breaths start becoming shallow pants as my blood flows from the wound. Everything hurts, but what's worse is that you were the one to stab me. I lower my head onto your shoulder as I try to speak.

"W…why?" you merely hush me as you gently run your fingers through my hair. "I…thought you would f-finally be…happy." Talking hurts and still you say nothing. I feel tears fall down my face. I've never cried before. You've caused numerous firsts in my life. Everything's becoming blurry and I can feel my life slipping away. I don't want to die. I don't want to leave you. Not now…not when I finally have you in my grasp.

"Shinji I…love…you…"my eyes slide close and that's it. Nothing but darkness. I vaguely hear you say something, but I'm too far down this path to comprehend anything. I hope I'll get to meet you again, the third child. You made my life…meaningful.

_I know you did Kaworu…I always knew_.

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**Gah, I'm so so sorry that I haven't done anything in months . I still have no excuse. I promise you that my FrUk story will be continued, I just haven't had the time and I've been writing stories about my OCs on DA**

**Also, I'm sorry if Kaworu and Shinji seem OOC...I really wanted a story where Kaworu is a yandere so i ended up writing this...so yeah :)**


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